How to be an intentionally inclusive ally
I’m writing this blog post in June with a backdrop of beautiful rainbow flags. But as a diversity and inclusion consultant, researcher and educator, I can’t help but see two sides to these colourful symbols. And that’s what I want to share with you through this post. In order for me to do that I want to start with a confession….
…until recently I hadn’t even thought about why we use the word PRIDE, I think I assumed it was related to being proud, proud to celebrate and share identities, proud to represent the many colours of the rainbow. But if you don’t already know this about me, I live by the motto that every day is a school day, so I thought I’d do a little more research and dive into the history of PRIDE month.
As far as I can tell one of the earliest use of PRIDE as an acronym is linked to a radical gay political organisation called Personal, Rights In Defense and Education, established in Los Angeles, California in 1966 by 27 year old Steve Ginsburg.
Ginsburg made it clear from the start that the organisation would not hold back on showing its youthful overt sexuality, and he set the example for members by wearing his leather gear to run the PRIDE management meetings. These meetings, called "PRIDE NIGHTS", took place at LA’s gay bar The HUB and Ginsberg often used the bar and club scene to connect with gay youth directly. Ginsberg saw the opportunity to tap into an energetic and under-represented constituency.
Fast forward 3 years to 1969 and switch from the west coast to the east coast of America and another key event happens in the evolution of PRIDE. The Stonewall Riots began on the 28th of June 1969 when the LGBTQI+ customers of New York City’s Stonewall Inn resisted police raids on their bar. In the raid that led to the Stonewall Riots, two police officers entered the Stonewall Inn and demanded to ‘check the sex’ of some of the bar’s customers by physical examination.
Throughout the 60s, when belonging to the LGBTQI+ community was largely seen as immoral and illegal, the Stonewall Inn was regularly raided by the local Police Department who would arrest and sometimes forcibly hospitalise gay people. But on June 28th 1969 Stonewall’s patrons decided to fight back, with hundreds of protesters from nearby bars joining them. The protesters returned every night for 6 days, forcing gay rights and anti-gay systems to the forefront of American cultural conversations.
The Stonewall Riots gave a new impetus to the ‘Gay Liberation’ movement around the globe. A key part of this movement was to encourage conversations about the lives and perceptions of LGBTQI+ people, and to fight for radical change in the way that LGBTQI+ people were treated by society.
A year after the Stonewall Riots, on June 28th 1970, Brenda Howard, a bisexual activist, organised a march in New York City. The first march was called the Christopher Street Liberation Day March (which is the name of the road the Stonewall Inn is on) and the event had both an element of celebration and protest. Howard organised another event the next year in 1971, and soon Pride parades were established all over the world.
Today PRIDE events happen globally and they are seen as an opportunity to celebrate and protest. During the month of June you will undoubtedly see a lot of rainbow flags, which has become symbolic of the PRIDE movement.
The rainbow flag was actually created in 1978 by artist, designer, Vietnam War veteran and then-drag performer, Gilbert Baker. He was commissioned to create a flag by another gay icon, politician Harvey Milk, for San Francisco’s annual pride parade.
Baker told the Museum of Modern Art during a 2015 interview, he had been inspired by the celebrations marking America’s bicentennial in 1976, noting that the constant display of stars and stripes made him realise the cultural need for a similar rallying sign for the gay community. At the time, the most commonly used image for the growing gay rights movement was the pink triangle, a symbol used by the Nazis to identify homosexuals. Using a symbol with such a dark and painful past was never an option for Baker. He instead opted to use a rainbow as his inspiration.
The different colours within the flag were meant to represent togetherness, since LGBTQI+ people come in all races, ages and genders, and rainbows are both natural and beautiful. The original flag featured eight colours, each having a different meaning. At the top was hot pink, which represented sex, red for life, orange for healing, yellow signifying sunlight, green for nature, turquoise to represent art, indigo for harmony, and finally violet at the bottom for spirit.
The rainbow flag is symbolic of PRIDE but over time many companies have used this image as nothing more than a cheap marketing campaign. The act of using or adding rainbow colours and/or imagery to advertising, apparel, accessories, landmarks, et cetera, in order to indicate progressive support for LGBTQ equality (and earn consumer credibility)--but with a minimum of effort or pragmatic result - is according the urban dictionary the definition of rainbow washing.
During June, companies that engage in rainbow washing will transform into colourful hubs, with bright, rainbow versions of their logo on social media. Their advertising and feeds may “highlight” local members of the LGBTQI+ community, featuring them wearing their seasonal “Pride” merchandise or other company apparel, without paying (or underpaying) the queer talent involved. Then BOOM—the first of July rolls around and everything switches back to business as usual. But there is a very clear business case behind companies rainbow washing their marketing campaigns in June.
According to FORBES, in 2019, LGBTQI+ adults held a combined buying power of $3.7 trillion dollars. Often referred to as “pink money”, the growing economic power of the pink dollar has been catching the attention of businesses with growing intensity. An article by the BBC suggested that “upwards of 90% of gay people support businesses which target pink money, while actively boycotting anti-gay companies”, and in 2017 MarketingMag stated “Almost 70% of homosexuals admit to being positively influenced by ads that contain gay and lesbian imagery …”, which means that in order for businesses to get your pink pound, they must appear supportive of the community.
But it can often be hard to differentiate between genuine support and “Corporate Pride”.
The commodification and monetisation of the Pride flag (a flag that represents the Queer community’s long history of resilience against oppression and strife) has had a watering down effect on Pride as an event. In some people’s minds, Pride has become more about brand deals, sponsorships and celebrity appearances, than amplifying queer voices and raising awareness for LGBTQI+ issues. It’s also damaging because it misleads well-intentioned people into thinking they’re supporting the LGBTQI+ community, when in reality they’re lining the pockets of multi-billion dollar corporations.
In short, it’s nothing more than performative ally ship - for clarity Performative allyship is where those with privilege, profess solidarity with a cause. This assumed solidarity is usually vocalised, disingenuous and potentially harmful to marginalised groups. Often, the performative ally professes allegiance in order to distance themselves from potential scrutiny. In many cases, organisational leaders use performance driven activity, in a way that they believe will protect company brand from being highlighted in a negative way.
Raising a rainbow flag outside your office in June but not having gender neutral toilets, or only having the option of male or female on your annual employee feedback form - is performative - you are doing little more than performing a show for the outside world, whilst failing to actively support LGBTQI+ employees.
So let’s not do that - let’s not be performative allies, let’s be intentionally inclusive allies instead. And let’s not just be allies to our LGBTQI+ friends and colleagues during June, let’s be authentic intentionally inclusive allies full stop.
Let's not be performative allies, let's be intentionally inclusive allies
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Let's not be performative allies, let's be intentionally inclusive allies 〰️
Allyship is an authentic support system, in which someone from outside a marginalised group advocates for those who are victims of discriminatory behaviour, whether that is at an individual level, or systemically and process driven. With authentic allyship there is an obvious, and genuine attempt, to transfer the benefits of privilege to those who lack it, in order to advocate on the marginalised groups behalf, and support them to achieve change.
Sounds great right - but how do we actually do this?
If you hold a position of privilege, it is your responsibility to be an active ally and take action that will help the less privileged become more successful in the workplace. The good thing is that just about anyone has the ability to be an ally to an underrepresented or minority group. As a man, you can be an actionable ally to women.
As a woman, you can be an ally to people of colour. As an able bodied person, you can be an ally to differently abled persons. As a straight person, you can be an ally to colleagues who are part of the LGBTQI+ community. As an older person, you can be an ally to younger colleagues.
To be an active ally you are moving from awareness to action - you need to be aware of your own privilege (and I will do a separate blog post on this topic because I know it can sometimes feel confrontational) and you need to be aware of the discriminatory behaviour. But as I’ve talked about before, awareness on it’s own doesn’t do anything - if you want something to happen you have to take action. BUT the other very important ingredient to be an active ally is safety. I believe there is always a way to take action but you should only take action if you feel safe - I’m going to circle back to this in a moment.
But for example as a white able bodied, cis gender highly educated woman in Europe, I am aware that each of these characteristics afford me a level of privilege - through the work that I do I’m also very aware of biases and I’m very sensitive to picking up on micro aggressions for example. So if I’m in a meeting and I notice someone misgender a colleague or interrupt a colleague or comment on a colleagues appearance - I am instantly aware that this is not appropriate behaviour - as I am often in these meetings spaces as a D&I specialist, researcher or consultant, it is safe for me to act upon this without fear of repercussions. Even so, how I act is dependent on the situation - I will always act, but whether I call someone out publicly or speak to them after the event in private for example is dependent on the context. But what I will always do is reach out to the person I feel was the victim of the discriminatory behaviour.
But to help make this a little more practical let me walk you through 7 roles you can play as an ally to help support people from underrepresented or minority groups at the workplace.
7 roles you can play as an ally
1. THE SPONSOR
A sponsor is an ally that vocally supports a person from a minority group and their work with the aim of helping boost the credibility and reputation of the person, especially in situations where the sponsor notices that the contributions of the underrepresented colleague are being dismissed or ignored.
For example you can do this by talking about the expertise you see in them, giving them opportunities to contribute, recommending them for learning opportunities and stretch assignments, and so on.
2. THE CHAMPION
A champion is an ally who champions for the inclusion of underrepresented groups in public avenues – such as conferences and industry-wide events, media events, and so on – with the aim of giving them greater visibility and sending a message to large audiences about the need for inclusivity.
There are several things you can do as an ally to play the role of a champion. For instance, if you are asked to address issues related to or directly affecting people from underrepresented groups, have someone from the underrepresented group address the issue instead of doing it yourself.
Alternatively, if you notice that people from minority groups have been left out in certain events or activities, you can act as a champion by advocating for their inclusion.
With your intentional inclusion lens switched this is your opportunity to ask the question - whose missing from this space? And then act upon that.
3. THE UPSTANDER
An upstander is an ally who chooses not to sit back and watch as someone from a marginalised group gets harassed or disrespected. When someone makes jokes or comments that are offensive to people from a minority group, a bystander will speak out against such comments.
When they see someone from a marginalised group being treated unfairly, upstanders are not afraid to speak up and fight for the rights of this person.
To be an upstander, you should always speak up if you notice any action or behaviour that is offensive, demeaning, disrespectful, or unfair.
However to do this in the moment, you need to be aware of your own level of safety.
4. THE ADVOCATE
An advocate is an ally who uses their privilege, power and influence to give a person from an underrepresented or minority group access to highly exclusive circles.
When you play the role of an advocate, you should watch out for situations where people from minority groups are unjustly omitted from events and activities, and then take action to address this by holding your peers accountable to ensure that all colleagues are included in these events and activities regardless of their individual differences, provided they are qualified.
You can play the role of advocate by going through the invitation lists for important events – dinners with key partners, important industry conferences, strategic planning meetings, and other career building opportunities – and checking whether people from underrepresented groups have been invited. If you notice that people from these groups are missing, advocate to have them included.
You can also play the role of advocate by offering to introduce people from minority groups to powerful and influential people within your network, or offering these people opportunities to take part in important activities, such as collaborating on a proposal, co-authoring an industry paper, and so on.
5. THE AMPLIFIER
For people from minority groups, having their ideas ignored, dismissed, or even stolen is something they have to contend with day in day out.
Various researches and studies have shown that women speak a lot less in professional situations, they are more likely to have their contributions interrupted, and they are less likely to be get credit for their contributions.
Think of Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs while she was giving her acceptance speech, just to tell her that she wasn’t deserving of the award. The video below shows how common it is for men to interrupt women:
Whenever someone from a minority group makes a good contribution, but you notice that the other people are ignoring the contribution, repeat the idea and attribute it to whoever made it.
Doing this from your position of privilege will make sure that the others pay attention to the contribution made by the person from a minority group.
Where possible, you should also give people from underrepresented groups opportunities to share their contributions, ideas, and opinions in meetings, company newsletters, and other public avenues.
I share more ways you can bring the Amplifier role to life in meetings in
6. THE CONFIDANT
A confidant is an ally who creates an environment that makes people from minority groups comfortable enough to express their needs, frustrations, fears, and challenges. Confidants provide a listening ear without being judgmental, believing that the people from minority groups are being truthful with their stories.
To be a confident, you need to be ready to believe the experiences of others. Avoid the temptation to assume that such things do not happen simply because they have not happened to you, and avoid the temptation to be judgmental about the experiences of these people.
If you are a manager, you can also act as a confidant by creating an environment where all your team members feel free to discuss with you any issues affecting them.
Playing the confident role is incredibly important for establishing psychological safety which is a cornerstone of any diversity and inclusion work.
7. THE SCHOLAR
To act as a scholar, you should commit yourself to finding out as much as you can about the marginalised groups within your industry. You can get this information from blogs, podcasts, publications, and social media profiles dedicated to these groups. You can also talk to colleagues from these groups and ask them to share the experiences they go through at work every day.
According to an article published on HBR, men are increasingly being invited to attend women’s conferences and employee resource groups. The reason behind this is that people are starting to see that men can only be better allies to women at the workplace by understanding things from women’s perspectives. And the available evidence shows that this is working. Among organisations where gender programs are deliberately including men, 96% are seeing progress, compared to just 30% when men are left out. This inclusion of men in gender diversity programs is an example of what it means to be a scholar.
Being a scholar is all about trying as much as possible to learn about the challenges and prejudices that people within an underrepresented group go through on a day to day basis. It is not about inserting your own ideas, experiences, opinions, or biases.
If you’re looking for more practical ways to support members of the LGBTQI+ community throughout the year, I have a complete PRIDE resource pack waiting for you. To access this resource simply drop me an email to hello@diversity-doctor.com
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